Soul singer Jill Scott has caused quite a stir among women across cyberspace with her latest controversial piece she wrote for Essence magazine.
In her one-page essay via Essence.com, the divorced mother touched on such taboo subjects as interracial relationships and revisited the origins of slavery. The commentary of Jill Scott: My Soul Burns When I See a Black Man With a White Woman
My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince. I didn’t immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.
Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul’s credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah’s Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common “wince” has solely to do with the African story in America.
When our people were enslaved, “Massa” placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our Black man. As slavery died for the greater good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the White woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.
We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It’s frustrating and it hurts!
Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I’m just sayin’.
What are your thoughts on this controversial piece?
I myself am a black man in America and I’ve dated just about every race minus a few, and to be honest, whenever I hear about the women of my own race ‘wincing’ at the sight of a black man with a white woman, I ‘wince’ right back at them. First off, when God places two people as soul mates, he doesn’t ‘color code’ them. Secondly, since I’m also in the military, I see A LOT of black women with white men. Is there something wrong with that as well? And don’t tell me “we only date white men because all the good black men are taken”. That’s the most ridiculous excuse I’ve ever heard. And if you ARE dating or have married a white man because of that, you should be ashamed of yourself.
The truth of the matter is love is blind (read your bible) and it doesn’t matter whether your black, white, yellow, brown purple, green or blue, if you truly LOVE someone, that’s all that should matter. Disagree? Hit me up and let’s discuss this further. Turtleman03@aol.com
Jill,GET THE HELL OVER IT!
Get a hobby beside the one you have,which apparently isn’t taken enough of your time Jill.
It’s 2010. AIDS,DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, HAITI,UNINSURED,UNEDUCATED….MANY PROBNLEMS BOTH NATIONAL AND GLOBAL AND YOU STILL TRIPPING ON THE BLACK MAN WHITE WOMAN THING! YOU AIN’T DEEP SIS…YOU DUMB!
I NEVER SAID THAT AND I DONT FEEL THAT WAY.
love is love. it doesn’t matter who you fall in love with as long as they are able to receive and recipricate love. As far as sucessful black men such as sport players/ celebraties with white women; my thoughts are that there are not many black women who are able to be in the locations where these well to do black men reside so all they have is that white woman who have the color and the connection to attract these men. they are everywhere black women do not have assess. and if black men really wanted a black woman they know where to find them. yes i can agree with Jill to a certain point, the white woman is glamorize on every media stance and these brothas don’t stand a chance. the white woman will bend, bow and break to his every call and a sister will not yeild. but to those sisters who support these accusations, take a lesson from the white woman and get your man if that is your goal. but remeber true love is colorless
I wonder is it still the same for a black man and Indian or Hispanic woman? They are women of color, too. What about an Asian woman?
I am a huge Jill Scott fan, and I have to say that I am somewhat dissapointed in these comments. I am an African American female, and I have never once ‘winced’!!! I don’t get it. I believe that a person closes many doors when they think this way. Love is love and has no color.
I agree! As a white woman that has dated out of my own race for my entire life I feel, and always have, that love is a matter of the heart and has nothing to do with skin color.
Let us not miss the content of this article because we disagree with Jill’s feelings. She did a great job of describing a feeling that many women may have and it’s understandable. Just because I don’t feel that way or you don’t feel that way doesn’t mean that others don’t. Maybe we need to understand it to heal it.
I think Jill Scott is speaking from her soul, as a black woman I sometimes feel the same real emotions. When you think back throughout our history black women has been made to feel less rated to everyother race. We have struggled been degraded, depressed over worked in under paid. the color of our skin is important to so many including our black man, it’s okay to belittle us bring us down with your words degrade our character with your sterotypes, It’s okay to not understand Jill Scott when you walking around with you eyes wide shut….
I will admit that i two have experienced the feeling that jill has described. with that being said i would never discriminate against an interacial couple. As a young african american woman i have over heard countless conversations from young black men that have described their idea of beauty and at each of these instances i have come to find that these young black men tend to run away from some of the traits that make black women who they are. some these traits that resemble their own mothers and sisters are the traits that they refuse to marry into. young successful black men like reggie bush and kobe bryant flock towards the first rich white woman that they can find. as if when they are of common wealth or status they feel as though they are not worthy and as soon as they succeed they feel that it is time to move on from black women. i am not saying that women outside of our race are not worthy to experience loving a black man because it can be sooo beautiful. i am not saying that i have never been attracted to someone outside of my race. i am not saying that i could never fall in love with i white man. i am simply saying that the feelings that jill has bravely spoken of are not of little or no value. thay run deep into our heritage and who we are as a people. i could love a white man deeply and know that God has nothing against it but i choose to love the beautiful black man that i am with because everything that he signifies is so beautiful and rich that it warms me. jill i feel you with every bone in my body. i too have winced. im just sayin’
Thank the stars the Universe is Vast. The significance of your seemingly cohesive thoughts are truly insignificant. You pull from little and yet spew regurgitated, antiquated thoughts of indoctrinated dogma. Love is blindness.
I wince every time I see an overweight black woman. We are derived from a people strong in stature. We come from a genetic pool in which the continent spawned a race of people who were the embodiment of superior physical fitness and mental alertness. Yet, today’s black woman in the United States revels in fatness and mental sluggishness. See….Anyone can sound intelligently foolish.
I feel people can say whatever they like. I am Hispanic and I was raised in a biracial family. My stepfather is black and we are from the south (Georgia). I did not like to see white women with black men. However, when I got older, I realized it is not the color of the skin; it is what you feel in your heart. I am married to a black man and I have biracial children. It is not the skin I am in love with it is the person. Therefore, if black man is in love with white women then that is what it is. It is not the skin color it is the person one is in love with. Jill Scott just does not understand until that white man or other race comes into her life and falls in love. If she continues to blind to the fact she could be missing a good man.
yep, i am with jill scott look at the yrs black man and woman and kids was rape, beat and kill and hung so we should just take the fact that you negro what them white woman, guess what they men been loving the black woman for yrs, because the women smell of animal, they hair is hard and the black is still as beautiful from day one…black man are so stupid they get the ugly and fattest white women they can find and some of them have nothing..look at tiger woods he not happy if he was so happy why was he out in the street with whore and who know what type germs he got sick man oh tiger you are black you see that now, you are black…that wife is ugly….black man are weak that why those white go after you because 1.if you got $ they what it so that they will never have to work. 2. they know you black can real stupid 3.after you get broken, than that the time you what a sister. those white woman are the most nasty woman there is. yes i am a black well together woman with a good high paying job…slave, so of you black guy need to look at rosewood the movie and roots…see if that white woman don’t laugh in your face. my friend is marry to a white woman time she get mad at what the first words come out that thing mouth you black dumb negro that not love sweetie..
yes black man are running to the white woman, for what a show….
I totally understand what she’s saying, she’s not saying it to be disrespectful but alot of black women feel this way, there’s so many strong, successful black women and black men pass them up for a white women. All the successful black men have them, not only white but other races as well. I feel that black men don’t appreciate a strong black woman. White and Black, white people get so much more then black folks. The worlds preception is that white has always and will always be better then black people better jobs, living situations, opportunities, you name it. So I TOTALLY AGREE
i like you white (women) people but your trappin all the black men and it getting out of hand. where i live that’s all you see its really sad. Black men act as if they can’t be happy with a sista like you didn’t grow up with mothers, sisters, aunties, grandmothers by the time you no the new generation is going to be mixed
I don’t believe love should be based on color, but i hear what Jill is saying. You will find our successful black men with white women and allow them to stay at home and take care of there kids. With our black women they will leave us behind, to work go to school and try to raise a family alone. I have heard a white women say, she has more to offer a black man. I can relate to what Jill is saying. I don’t think it is fair that African American women get pushed aside. Like Jill said, at one point and time our men weren’t good enough. So now that they are educated they are.? That is a slap in the face. Our women are just as beautiful and compassionate, and worthy.
Jill your interpersonal relationships with black men make me wince….
BTW…From Wiki…
Scott and longtime boyfriend Lyzel Williams, a graphic artist and DJ, married in 2001 in a private Hawaiian ceremony during a vacation. The couple dated for seven years before they wed.[20] Scott wrote and recorded the song “He Loves Me (Lyzel in E Flat)” about Williams. After six years of marriage Scott and Williams divorced in 2007.
On June 20, 2008, at a concert in New York’s Carnegie Hall, Scott shared a long on-stage kiss with her drummer, Lil’ John Roberts; the couple then told the audience that they were engaged.[21] They expected their first child on April 25, 2009[22][23] but the baby boy, Jett Hamilton Roberts, arrived five days earlier. On June 23, 2009, Scott announced that she and Roberts had broken up, with Scott breaking the news to Essence. Despite the break-up, Scott hopes for both parents to have an active part in their child’s upbringing, stating that “We definitely love our son and we are co-parenting and working on being friends. It is what it is. I have a lot of support, so I want for nothing as far as that’s concerned.”[24]
I’m a black woman and it doesn’t bother me one iota to see a black man with a white woman. I was raised with the notion that people are people and that skin color, racial background, culture, etc., is superficial and unimportant. I truly don’t understand it when people like Jill reach back 200+ years to the days of slavery. How long will you hold a grudge? How long will you be unforgiving? We need to get over that! That is in the past and has nothing to do with today! Besides, not every white person in America owned slaves and many (including white women) were key players in working toward the abolishment of slavery.
I feel that if we never let go, we can never heal, we can not move forward nor rise above. It’s time to let go, get over it, and be a bigger person.
…I read this article & felt many emotions, I am a married african-american woman who has a family that is made up of many races. I personally feel that if a person’s choice is made solely on race, there is a problem. I don’t get it when ppl say, I only date this race or that race, in many of those cases the person could be missing out on their REAL soulmate or opening themselves up to be judged. My paternal grandfather was native-american & african-american, while my paternal great-grandmother was caucasian & african-american…..the mother of my brother’s son is caucasian…..love has no color, it hurts me to see so many lonely, educated african-american women, however, maybe our way of looking at things need to change & don’t get me wrong, I get it, I’m not blind, most african-american professional athletes are married to or in a serious relationship with someone who is of a different race, but I feel that if they are with that person because they LOVE them or have a real connection with them & not just because they are not african-american, then how can you really knock that? If you are lucky enough to find someone that you truly love & they love you back, then you have found something that is worth fighting for & holding on to, race should not be a part of the equation:) God Bless!!!
black men over look a good black woman, who has been doggie out by you loser, yes i am a white women and I sick of seeing it too, black men stick to your on type, let the white women stay with their men and you stay with your woman..i i would give anything to have that beautiful soft skin you people have and that hair, i have try hot curler and everything to get that look..black man don’t know what they have a black women..but one thing we white women can get is your money and every little nickle and dime you got dumb ass n-e-g-r-o, yes white women keep getting that money look all the basketball and football and golf and rapper half them stupid sad dog as with the white women yes, yes put them back in the field where they belong the men that is…..sorry that black women you need so much better….up and out.
I agree totally and completly with Jill Scotts comments.
To all of the idiots on this board who is in disagreement with Ms. Scott, it’s because many of you, just as you say love is blind, YOU ARE BLINDED TO THE TRUTH. Black men who date or marry white women, it doesn’t have a DAMM thing to do with love. I believe that 90% of black men who’s preference are white women are purposely seeking these kind of women (THE REAL GOLD DIGGERS) because White America from our past and today has blinded them to think that they (White Women) represents true beauty. I am a African American woman and I have NO RESPECT for black men who purposely DISREPECT their own kind just to be seen as a statue quote with a white woman, who by the time she is 35, she needs to continue to wear makeup because she ages, rapidly, faster than WOMEN OF COLOR.
THERE ARE NO OTHER RACES ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH, WHERE MEN DISREPECT THEIR WOMEN, BY MARRYING OUTSIDE OF THEIR RACE. ITS ONLY BLACK MEN WHO DOES THIS, BECAUSE, AGAIN THEY HAVE BEEN BRAINWASH TO BELIEVE THAT WHITE REPRESENTS BEAUTY. HOWEVER, IT DOESN’T. As for other men from different race backgrounds, when you see them dating someone outside of their race, it’s because their love is truly blind because many of them, unlike the WEAK BLACK MAN, does’nt marry outside their race, trying to IMPRESS OTHERS.
This is another reason why our race is, still today at the bottom of the totempole, is because we continue to direspect and disconnect from one another. Especially when we become financially sucessful. White women, because they are BORN WHITE, have many priviligces handed out to them, and you would think that many BLACK MEN who become sucessful, instead of sharing their sucess and wealth with the already priviledge, that they would want to grow together IN LOVE with the BEAUTIFUL SHADES OF BLACK WOMEN, WHO NEEDS NO MAKEUP.
BLACK MEN WHO PREFER WHITE WOMEN, DEEP DOWN INSIDE HATE THEMSELVES.
first of all to terrell and lanell whow do you know what god did stop using god name a reason to date these flat back ok…..stop it….what black men are trying to do is what the white man been doing for years to our black woman but in our k cases they was raped, raped, raped and the black women was beat to dead and kill..i can’t stand you stupid black men, i really can’t…not only did the black women get rape by these white men but some of our black man was raped and misused..so after you stupid negro get tried of playing 1 2 3 with these white women ,don’t over look these beautiful sister…help them like you would that white flat back woman….
Jill is entitled to her opinion just as people are entitled to date who they want; however, I have to agree with Ann65. Black men are the only men in the world that marry outside of their race more than any other men across the board, that is a fact. That has to mean something. I hear people saying all the time that black women should broaden their horizons and date men of other races. Tell me, why would a man of another race want to date black women when their own men are running away from them in droves. Men of other races don’t covet black women the way black men covet women of other races, it isn’t just white women, it’s all nonblack women. Yes, there are sisters who are the typical stereotypes, but there are also white women, hispanic, asian, etc., who are not the perfect angels everyone would have us to believe. Marry who you want, fall in love with who you want, but stop telling black women that it’s our fault. You’re doing it because you want to and because you’re trying to prove to the world that you’re good enough. That, like Jill’s article, is my opinion.
Jill has very good points…I am black and must admit that beauty knows no shade …but when it comes time to keep it real with someone and marry…she got to look like my momma…sistas been holdin the b man down…cant share my riches with a ” fair weather” mate…she gotta be a sista!!!!!!!
At some point, black women have to stop calling themselves “Queens” and start acting like it. If you are a Queen, then the black man is your “King”, and you should treat him as such. The whole, “strong black woman” thing has gotten out of control, and has made black women so headstrong, loud, and ridiculous, that black men have begun to get tired.
It’s hard to believe, but black men are actually sought after by all races now because suddenly our strength, our beauty, our inner glow and our “swag” has started to be noticed. And to think, black women had us all to themselves, and got so arrogant that they somehow forgot to notice it. Now that white women are also chasing us, black women are angry, and are calling us sellouts. If you take something for granted for so long, this is what eventually happens. It’s easy to say that a black man only wants a white woman because she is weak. That makes black women think that they have nothing to change and that it is all the black man’s fault. But deep down, at the end of the day, all any black man wants is peace of mind. We don’t want nagging or fighting, nor do we need our women to constantly challenge us as if they were also men. Lastly, black women seem to love to tell a man that he is not a man. Once you do that, the relationship is practically over. Even if the man does not leave you, he will never look at you the same way again.
Also, black women seem to have a thing for thugs. They then feel that after wasting some of their best years having a thug basically suck the life out of them, that they are somehow entitled to a good black man simply because they are black. The black man should forget the fact that this woman has numerous children and that her beauty and her mind has been ruined because of her years of attachment to a thug. No that’s not the way it is anymore. Now, more than ever, black men have options, and are starting to act on those options.
My advice to the sisters: Find yourselves. Stop blaming black men and white women, and learn how to treat the black man like the royalty that you think you are. Black women are the most beautiful women on the planet. Deep down, every black man, even one who is with a white woman, desires black women more than anything else. We are just tired of all the drama. We want happiness and peace of mind. Until you get it together we will keep exploring other options.
I am a single Black man who has dated outside of my race and I even produced a child of mixed parentage. That being said I totally ‘overstand’ Ms. Scotts feelings on the subject. She is merely being honest to her readers and giving us an idea of what goes on inside her mind at the sight of an interracial coupling. I happen to have the same response even though I’ve engaged in the same activity. In my heart I know nothing is wrong with it (dating/marrying) but in my mind I try to rationalize it by placing it in an historical context just like her. Not to say that it needs to be ‘rationalized’ it’s just the way my brain functions. I also was raised as Jehovahs Witness and was surprised to find out we share that in common.I believe we, if I can speak for Ms. Scott just want to know if both parties feelings are genuine. Are all persons involved spiritually and mentally fit enough to recognize whether or not they are buying into the myth that White is better and Black is less than? It may sound cliche but I’ll say it anyways, some of my best friends are White. We’ve grown up together and they are some cool White boys and all, but a part of me must confess that I never thought that they would end up marring Black women. I thought yeah, we’re all having ‘fun’ now dating outside our races but when we’re ready to get serious we’ll all settle down with our own ‘kind’. To my surprise two of may White homeboys are happily married to two beautiful sistahs with kids and have been together for along time. I must also admit that when I saw the tag-line for this article I was disappointed in Jill, thinking to myself ‘I hope she didn’t say that’. So I had to read it and get her take on it and I was pleased to find that she was well rounded on the matter. She conveyed a view point on the subject that few people could do in a non racist fashion. I find ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with her article and will remain a fan. To those of you who are offended please make not that she never said no one should date outside their race, should merely stated how she felt initially at the sight of an IR couple, in particular a Black man and a White woman. Her being a Black women she admitted to us her guttural feelings on the matter and then placed those feelings in historical context. Nuff said move on people. Love you Jill.
Feelings are feelings. Feelings can mislead, but God cannot. Despite the evil man has done, God is still God. When God said He made man in His image, He meant it. Therefore, every person, black, white, or whatever is made in the image of God. God does not have a problem with any of His images marrying another, so long as they marry in the set parameters. God has not set color boundaries in the sacred covenental relationship of marriage. As a matter of fact, Moses’ wife was a black, Ethiopian, woman. God was angry with Aaron and Miriam because they spoke against Moses’ wife. I do not know what God everyone else serves, but I know the God I serve and He made all people in His image……Is God black or white? Neither and He does not care what color the person is you marry. All He cares about is you having a godly spouse who is willing to serve God no matter where He sends them. White is not a race and neither is black…there is only the human race. God is not a respector of persons, neither should we be. We love our neighbor as we love ourself, the second greatest commandment. Next time you look at someone, remember you are looking at the image of God regardless of skin pigmentation……. Make His glory known.
I think Jill is RIGHT on with article. Availability of black men is a HUGE issue in the black community and anyone who says otherwise is just ignorant. I attend one of the most prestigious and oldest black universities in the nation and even here its obvious. In every class I’ve had, out of about 25 students, only THREE of them are black. This is a problem. So when I see a black man who is about his business…. OF COURSE it makes me feel betrayed. I have white female friends who date black men and despite the fact that I love them it still HURTS at times to see black men with them. Love can NOT be completely colorless. Ask President Barack Obama. Even though his OWN grandmother loved him to death, she was STILL afraid to walk down the street alone near a black man. Which is what her own grandson was. The way black women are viewed and stereotyped and beaten down should want to make our black men want to build us up. White does not mean better. I’M just saying.
I have to say that when I read the tag line to this article I was all set to hammer out a reply saying who cares who marries who, after reading the article, I have to say it made me think and understand where Jill is coming from. I am a black woman who has only dated white men I’m not sure why, maybe it has to do with growing up in a predominatly white community, all the negativity surrounding black men that I heard growing up (even in my own family…especially in my own family). I get what she’s saying, at the same time, what happened in the past is unfortunate, a lot of that attitude still exists today, but I chose to move forward, away from that, I chose to erase that whole racist attitude, to pitch white against black. I have three biracial boys and they date white, black, asian, etc. I’m hoping that their generation will move even closer to leaving color in the past and date and marry the person they love regardless.
Sometimes we don’t read what was written. This is Jill Scott’s feelings as a person. She is not dumb, blind or stupid. I believe she understands the world we live in today – she is just sharing a feeling that is centered around our history as African-Americans. We are free to choose anyone we desire today. However that was not the case two generations ago.
Good article! I’m just saying…
I hate woman that say, “black men have it easier cause they can get any woman of any race and its much harder for black women to get men of other races.”So what are saying black men should only date black women cause black women can only get black men? Do you know how selfish and degrading that sounds? I mean thats bullshit if a black man can get a woman of any race so can a black woman so please stop complaining besides theres alot of worse things in life then marrying someone of a different race. And dont give me that bullshit that the media worships the white woman. Black men go through the same shit in the media everywhere you look its always something about Zac Efron or Brad Pitt or Rob Patterson or George Clooney and everytime there is a list of top 20 most beautiful women in the world who is always top 3? Beyonce thats right a black women so please dont give me that media BS cause black men have it just as hard its just we arent as open about it. And i’m not trying to attack any black women i love black women i’m just saying it goes both ways.
I agree with jill. I am a inteligent BLACK woman. And I am disgusted when I see a together black man with a white woman. Especially because I try and give the couple the benifit of the doubt but she always is the same. A (airhead) that lets him control her. I think the Black woman has become somewhat to much for the man to handle and that society has warped his brain into thinking that a white woman brings a stress free relationship. Its not our fault you or your father was trifflan so we had to become independent and teach our daughters this trait so they would not starve waiting on a man who wont give them a hand. I feel sorry for the man who seeks the white woman and forgets the womb he came from!
look interracial marriage is here to stay and no matter how much you complain about it or bash its not going to change. In fact based on statistics marriage is only going to get more and more diverse as the years go on so at the end of the day what does all your interracial marrige bashing do? Absolutely nothing your hateful words arent going to make everyone in the country just date their own race people have their own minds and will marry whoever they want so stop trying to control everyone in the black community. And stop comlainnig about how college educated wealthy black men and women are more likely to date outside their race do you know why that is? Just use your common sense statistically speaking blacks are the least likely race in the u.s. to go to college (besides native americans who are basically almost extinct in the u.s.) So that means when blacks are in college their going to be around mostly non blacks so interracial dating is bound to happen based on the fact that blacks are vastly out numbered in college compared to any other race in general unless they go to a all black college so did you ever think maybe the black man or black woman met there non black husband or wife in college and that it actually is true love since they were with each other in college when they were both young and broke? And now since they have a good job after going to college of course they are going to be wealthy so you dont no the circumstance of every interracial marrige where the black women or black man happens to be wealthy so stop making assumptions.
Personally, I see nothing wrong with an interacial couple who are in love with one another. There’s enough couples of the same race cohabiting on this planet that appear to be together for reasons of convenience, rather than truly loving one another.
The attack on interacial couples is merely a sign that racism is a problem with all ethnicities, and not just the few which are routinely stereotyped as racists.
People need to become more accepting of one another; not just in a superficial sense, but in a more indepth way, since the human race will only prosper if people can work together. Unfortunately, in today’s societies, the citizenry of this planet are being brainwashed into becoming factions which must battle one another. The result is that we waste much time in fomenting strategies in which to outfox our fellow brethren, then in learning to work with them – a very unconstructive use of our time and energy.
Our governments are far too large and cumbersome to effectively benefit us, religions have become little more than effective means of controlling society through brainwashing their parishoners, which has resulted in a fear based society.
How far humans have strayed from their simple existence over the past few millennia, where are our concept of progress has become so perverted, that it ‘s in reality, diametrically opposed to moving in the right direction.
As for formalized religions, if there is an all knowing and powerful God, it would seem that he has turned his back on the human race, which now needs his help more than ever before.
Jill’s article was right on point ! I feel BM as a whole have been totally and completely indoctrinated and assimilated. They want what you always couldn’t have at the expense and the demise of the strong black family. What is wrong with raising conscious, educated beautiful black children . BM have always been the betrayers of the race .Starting with the selling of their own people. Then there was the over-seer on the plantation a BM. Lets not even speak about the capturing of run-away slaves which BM played a huge roll in , to remain in favor of the WM.
If it wasn’t for BW there is noway the BM would have survived the wicked evils of slavery or Jim Crow . Please don’t bring the bible into this, That bible that you hold so dear and make reference to , just proves that you have not only been indoctrinated by the Caucasians standard of beauty , but also by their religion… I bet you are referring to the King James version as well , which was written by Shakespeare. BM tend to follow the status qoe with no idea of the history behind it.
Please stop throwing religion and the bible into this debate because you think it feels righteous. The same bible and religion that BM are using to justify the betrayal and shunning of their women only proves once again how truly indoctrinated they are . For isn’t that the same bible and religion that was used to enslave BM (Africans) so now its okay to continue to use it as a tool to justify ostracizing the BW.
Meanwhile BW are better educated , we have a more prestigious standing around the world then our BM, we are more financially sound . Sixty-five percent of bachelor’s degree recipients are Black women, nearly double the number of their male counterparts.Black women make up 71 percent of black graduate students. .
BM have incorporated the many negative racist perceptions of themselves. Just like BM do not recognize the connection between their women and increased economic opportunity . They settle for women they can control and press upon their partners white guilt , leading WM to never challenge them intellectually or spiritually and allowing them to completely control the relationship.
So sist’a’s keep moving , keep climbing keep striving you are the wonder of the world. There is nothing you can do with an indoctrinated mind . Willy Lynch did a GREAT job on the BM’s mind . I congratulate him, for he accomplished what a BW couldn’t do . Conquering the BM’s righteous mind and distorting it. We still have ours.
Shhhh. Shhhh. Sistas it’s ok. It’s ok. I know it hurts. But it hurts only as long as you allow it too, as long as it takes for you to accept the evolution of life. Once you have accepted the evolution, then understanding begins to take root – which is a form of psychological and spiritual antibiotic. And you will begin to heal. Don’t you want to heal? Inter-cultural dating/marrying has been going on since the beginning of recorded time. This is nothing new. The only “newness” to this entire way of the human story is the “new generations” that are born, and are taught, either directly or indirectly, these thought processes mentioned throughout the comments. And truely most of it is due to misinformation and misguided feelings from generational feelings that have not been rightfully dealt with. And contrary to popular thought/opinion/beliefs, most american black men are dating and marrying within their own subculture. Just do some serious googleing on that. Sistas it is time to heal. But in order to heal, you’ve got to do what is necessary. Rest. Accept things for what they are in their truth and essance. And let the healing begin. Outside validation is not needed nor should ever be seeked. Healing will always begin from the inside- out. As we are born, so shall we live…from the inside – out. And if we want to really get honest about this, we had no earthly idea what hue we would come into this world with when we were being created and born. It’s not the hue of mankind that’s the real problem, it’s simply mankind’s attitudes. Hence the old and very true cliche’ -Your altitude will depend on your attitude. Rest, Sista. Heal, sista. Continue to love sistas, yourselves and any man you choose. I love all of you, black women and black men. And it’s going to be okay.
lol…It’s like T.D.Jakes said at the 2008 New Year Revival..
It aint the color you should concern yourself with, it’s the character!
I understand where Jill is coming from.I have seen brothers look past a beautiful black sister, for the lightest or whitest woman in the room. Most young black guys coming of age now, feel that light, bright, damn near white, or totally white is the epitome of beauty in females. I am a so called “light-skinned” black female, who ended up dating guys that felt that way. My soul burns because I see so many of my beautiful “dark-skinned”, talented, successful, hardworking, loyal and faithful sisters,cousins,friends,and co-workers overlooked because they are not what is our own men’s’ perception of beauty. I have two black sons, and I don’t care what any of you think about what I am saying. They can date whomever they choose but I hope and pray they choose to marry a black woman.
Good day All… God is good and works in mysterious ways. How funny was it for me to come into work this morning and what is this on my screen. The very thing I’ve been struggling with here lately. I am a 32 year old African American Sista that is admired by all. First off I do not and never have wore make-up, So needless to say, I can pass for a 23 yr. old. I have no children, blessed from the brains to the body, worldly, from the suburbs of New Jersey but have definitely been to the projects. I was not the cutest girl in high school, some might not of even thought i was cute… But boy did this catapillar turn into a butterfly! What is the point you ask? The point is I think I”m gonna end up with a WHITE MAN! I’m highly sought after tho… Dont get me wrong… By the brothers and as well by white men! But the white man is the only Man outta the bunch that has actually stepped up to the plate to find out what it is that truly makes me tick. He listens even when I’m just rambling and surprises me with the slightest notions to let me know he’s paying attention. But heres the problem…. I soooo much want and need a Black Man!!! I absolutely love everything about them…So yes my soul burns too Jill… No question. But they just won’t allow it to happen. The Black men have issues that just wont quit on a broad spectrum. They have to many kids, baby mamas, excuses and dumb ass women that allow this to go on… So that when a decent Princess such as myself comes around, they take the easy way out just settling for whoever, simply because it’s effortless. And that is one main reason they end up with the white girls. But dont be looking at me all funny when I’m out with my white guyfriends and your sitting next to your whte girlfriend, which you conviently forgot was sitting next to you the very moment you saw me!!!!! It’s truly halarious. So beware fellas the day is coming when you will be losing us to them!! So get it together… I’m just sayin’
@ DEREK… I love what you wrote. And just let me add…not withstanding….all black women are not the same, the same way all white women are not the same…. White women are not ‘WEAK’ as a group. Nor are Black women “STRONG” as a group. We all need to get over ourselves and these types of stereotypes and judements based on race. The arguement that women of color as a whole have been through more than european descendants is ridiculous. WOMEN are strong in history in keeping children and men fed and cared for during tough times. Whether is was the Famine in Ireland, the Holocaust, American Slavery of Africans, or the early irish settlers ….women have held it together. As far as Jill Scott. I love her music, her acting and her opinions are fine with me. We all have them..we just need to know when to keep them to ourselves.
Okay..So how do black women feel about black men dating hispanic women?
I WAS MARRIED TO A AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN FOR 7 YEARS. SHE CHEATED ON ME THE WHOLE TIME! WE DIVORCED AND I LOST EVERYTHING! WHEN YOU ARE BROKE BLACK WOMEN DO’NT WANT YOU! I MET A RUSSIAN GIRL WHO DID NOT CARE WHAT I HAD ……I MADE HER LAUGH,SHE THOUGHT MY DARK SKIN WAS BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVED MY MUSCLES! WE MET WHEN SHE WAS A RESIDENT AT A LOCAL HOSPITAL AND I WAS BUILDING MY SECURITY GUARD BUSINESS. NOW SHE IS A DOCTOR AND MY BUSINESS IS SUCCESSFUL! SHE LOVED ME WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST……WHEN I HAD NOTHING! ITS NOT ABOUT COLOR …ITS ABOUT CHARACTER.
I asked my husband why aren’t you married to a black woman – he said I fell in love with you. Simple answer complicated question. I think its because we didn’t meet in a conventional setting – I worked in a call centre and he used to place his orders for the company he worked for. At first we joked on the phone, then the conversations got serious, talking about our lives, my past relationship. He’d never had a proper girlfriend.
He asked to meet me, I umed and ahhd and eventually said yes. I didn’t know he was black – so I was standing waiting for a tall man with long hair. He touched my shoulder and said Debbie. We became best friends – he would ring me every night and chat and vice versa. After 18months we realised that the last at person at night we both wanted to speak to was each other and first thing in the morning the first person we wanted to speak to was each other.
That was 20 years ago, I know its hard for black women to see us together and some have made comments – they think he is with me because I have money – or he has money. We were both dirt poor when we got together and have worked very hard to get where we are.
And I suppose I get sick of being blamed for slavery, I come from a long line of poor Anglo Irish ancestors who the went through the famine in Ireland emigrated all over the world to get away from British rule – who the only thing they owned was a potatoe.
1. who cares who loves who. or is it “whom”?
2. anyway, maybe because I am white, maybe because it’s 2010, but I really don’t get all of this “pro My race” stuff anymore. black is beautiful, but so is every other color. get over it. get over yourself. love yourself and the love of the brothers (and many others) will follow.
TO A PRECIOUS GEM NAMED JILL
From a.b. barnett
Hi Jill, how are you doing my Intelligent, Creative and Beautiful Woman? Do not worry, not even for an instant, about all the nonsensical views that have been spewed over this medium. Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to have people understand the minutiae of True Philosophy. You were not condemning your friend’s or anyone else’s choice, but rather emphasizing on how sometimes people of the same race, or ethnicity, are not even given the opportunity to be considered as potential mates by their counterparts. The problem resides in the historical dating patterns of people who possess an effete image of their phenotypical, as well as their genotypical, traits and yet claim to be staunch defenders of their ancestry. This occurs a lot in both men and women as they unabashedly dispel any query on whether all their mates, or the majority, have been white and, to boot, even exhibited some resemblance; case in point: Quincy Jones et al.
Let us jettison the stenchful and burdensome cloak of hypocrisy, in order to valiantly admit that some of our people are afflicted with a self-loathing pathology that has been drilled for ages. This self-demeaning aspect is thwarting our collective growth as it lures to appreciate that which has no true value, that which has no True Art. It seems as though we were continuously propelled into an abyss of crassness in which there is a void of poetry as well as a dearth of discursive and actuating coherence. Hence, complacency has become the stagnant waters we have chosen to express the patois of meretricious love in sexually blatant ways, rather than the Gilt Language that is meant to flow in the Stream of Meritorious Love.
Finally, I would like to express how delighted I am every time I see your illuming smile. Please do not make a couple of male lectotypes keep you away from the true Holotype that awaits you, for your internal beauty , as well as strength, is so plentiful that it cascades through your hair, your eyes, your lips, your smile, your bust, your thighs and ends in a privileged cup from which I would be glad to imbibe. Feel free to communicate with via e-mail and read some of my essays (The Ghoulish Ghost of Anomaly) under a.b. barnett.
Best wishes, Precious Gem.
I agree with you sista, soon as our men get ahead a little, they run to look for the demon seed to wed. She is good for nothing, she can’t cook, clean, raise her children in the fear of the Lord, all she try to do is imitate us black women and use her leopard skin to intice our silly men, who fall for her poisonous venum. All she wants is his money because money is their God. If he didn’t have money, she wouldn’t give him the time of day. She knows when he dumb a…. dies, she would get all that he has. I look at this as giving everything Jehovah bless him with back to the devil.
This is why we will never become our own nation because of black men giving everything back to their “massas”. Her white parents don’t like her marrying a black man but he go along with it because they know that everything this black man has will be theirs.
I hate this too, simply because they give everything back to the white man. The white man has stolen everything from us, I mean everything, ever our heritage, we don’t even understand that we are the tribe of “Judah” who was taken into bondage according to deuteromony. We don’t even respect the fact that we are truly the ones Jehovah chosen.
This is one of the reason we black people went into bondage because we went whoring after foreign women and their false gods. So, I don’t even care any more, I use to hate to see a brother with a snake too, especially when my loving dad left his beautiful black wife, my mother, with 8 babies for a white women who was no match to my mom in no ways at all. My mother is absolutely beautiful from head to toe. But a snake came into my dad and mom’s garden and corrupted their marriage. Not only did she destroy my parents marriage but she had her own husband and children. She was just after that black berry and she didn’t care which one she catch because she sleep with all my dad’s brothers and friends and my dad was stupid enough to want to marry her only because he thought it would bring him status or make him look good, I guess.
But anyway, let them do what they do, we will persevere with or without them, because we know who we serve, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
God Bless our Black brother and sisters in America and keep us from destruction.
wow iv just lost a big chunk of respect for jill scott…i thought she of all people, with all her spiritual awareness and openess that comes accross in her music, she would not be so ignorant.
it just sounds like she is JEALOUS cuz her man left her.
i dont like the way shes suggesting shes speaking on black womens behalf, and what has slavery got to do with two people being married in the presant day!?
NOTHING! JILL GET OVER IT!
PROMOTE UNITY & TOGETHERNESS AMONGST ALL BECAUSE
WE ARE ALL COLOURLESS GENDERLESS SOULS HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE. DONT FUEL SEPERATION AND SEGREGATION. WE ARE ALL EQUAL HUMAN BEINGS WITH THE RIGHT TO LOVE AND BE WITH WHO WE WANT!
if two people love each other who is anyone 2 feel betrayed or upset by it. live and let live..f*ck off with all this slavery rubbish….thats an excuse for her insecurity.she is living with this false nubian identity she feels she has to upkeep. very ignorant of her i expect better than that from her.
Well, Jill, if you and the four out of five black women that are either ovweweight, or obes…and look like you do! Try losing some weight, and while you’re at it also taking better care of yourself then maybe so many BM would be going the other way! And, don’t forget to lost that all too well known attitude as well. Not to mention that BW are, and continue to be the “highest risk” group in the US for HIV/AIDS for all races of women, and both genders! Sorry, but nobody wants a death sentence! BW has 67% of all reported cases for all races of wmen, so why do you really think someone wants to be with you? I won’t even go into all those OOW babies that BW continue to have., along with the highest stats for STD’s. BM have moved on, and we’re not looking back! WM don’t want you either, well if you don’t look like Halle Berry, Beyonce, or Alicia Keys…which the overwhelming majority of BW don’t, and will never ever even come close, not even on your best day! See ya…wouldn’t want to be ya!
Why it so many black feel the need to date and marry outside their race? I think it’s self-hate. It’s not about weight either. I have seen plenty of black men with fat and unattractive white women.