Tyler Perry Blog:Abuse,Molestation As Child – Tyler Perry posted a very personal long blog post on his Web site today where he revealed that ‘Precious’, the film he produced with Oprah, is close to his heart because he grew up with sexual and physical abuse.Here is what he wrote:
Hi there.
I know I’ve been a little quiet lately but I’ve been in silent reflection, quiet meditation, and prayer. Turning 40 is such a blessing. Especially because as I child I always thought I would die before I grew up.
If life begins at 40, then I owe the little boy that I was my life. Case in point, not long ago, I was brought a film to watch to see what I thought of it. It’s called PRECIOUS, based on the novel PUSH by Sapphire. I sat at home watching this movie not knowing what to expect. After the movie was over, I sat there for a long time just thinking about what I had just witnessed. I watched all the things that Precious, a 16-year-old girl in the film, went through. I watched her mother be unusually cruel to her and I realized at that moment that a large part of my childhood had just played out before my eyes. It hit me so hard, I sat there in tears realizing that somehow, by the grace of God, I made it through. My tears were tears of joy, being thankful that I made it.
Believe me when I tell you, PRECIOUS is a powerful film. After seeing it, I had to be involved. I didn’t write it or direct it, nor am I making any money from it. Oprah and I both are giving any proceeds we would make to charity. I just wanted to get as many people to see it as I can. It gave me so much hope after watching it. For everyone who has been a Precious, male or female, this movie will make you so glad you made it through.
It took me through some raw emotions and brought me to some things and places in my life that I needed to deal with but had long forgotten. It brought back memories so strong that I can smell and taste them. Like, when I was very young, my mother decided to leave my father…she had had enough of his insanity. She loaded me and my two sisters up in an old Cadillac that he had bought for her, and drove to California. When he realized she was gone, he called the police and reported the car stolen, as it was in his name. My mother was arrested and my two sisters and I were put in the cell with her. He and my uncle drove from Louisiana to California to get us. We spent several days in jail waiting for him. He bailed her out and couldn’t wait to get her into the car. He got into the back seat with us and beat her black and blue from California to Louisiana, as me and my sisters watched Even though I was only two or three, I know that this had to have some effect on me.
I’m tired of holding this in. I don’t know what to do with it anymore, so, I’ve decided to give some of it away…
Memories at 40: Not long ago, I was asked to speak at an engagement. I walked in and I was told that they had assigned a person to take care of me while I was there. She walked up to me, all of 5’2 ” of her, and asked if I needed anything. I looked at her and started to sweat. It took me back thirty-something years to her apartment. I couldn’t have been more than 10 years old when I went over to play with her son and Matchbox cars. She opened the door in skimpy lingerie. There was a man sitting on the couch, smoking. She told me that her son was in the bedroom. I was there playing with him about 20 minutes when I heard the man arguing with her. He said he was leaving and slammed the door. She came into the bedroom and told me that I had to go home. She told her son to take a bath and she locked him in the bathroom. I was at the front door trying to get out, when she came in and laid on the sofa and asked me if I wanted the key. I told her I had to go home as it was getting dark. She put the key inside of herself and told me to come get it, pulling me on top of her.
Memories at 40: “What the f*#K are you reading books for?! That’s bull*#*T! ”
“You F*#*ing jackass! You got book sense but you ain’t got no mothaf*#*en common sense! You ain’t sh*t and ain’t never gonna be sh*t! ” I heard this every day of my childhood. As my father would beat and belittle me, he played all kinds of mind games with me. He knew I loved cookies as a kid, most kids do. So he would buy them and put them on top of the fridge and when I would eat them he would beat me mercilessly.
My mother was out one night, as she loved to play bingo, and my father came ome…mad at the world. He was drunk, as he was most of the time. He got the vacuum cleaner extension cord and trapped me in a room and beat me until the skin was coming off my back. To this day, I don’t know what would make a person do something like that to a child. But thank God that in my mind, I left. I didn’t feel it anymore, just like in PRECIOUS. How this girl would leave in her mind. I learned to use my gift, as it was my imagination that let me escape After he was done with his rant he passed out. Since my aunt lived two doors down, I ran to her. She saw me and was horrified. She loaded her 357 and went to kill him. Holding a gun to his head, her husband came and stopped her.
Memories at 40: I got a call not long ago from a friend. He told me that a man that I knew from church when I was a kid had died and he didn’t have any insurance. His family was trying to reach out to me to see if I would pay for his funeral. I quickly said no, but I wish I would have said yes. There is something so powerful to me in burying the man that molested me. I wish I would have dug the grave myself.
Memories at 40: I was about 8 or 9 years old. I had a crush on a little girl across the street. She would come over to my house and we’d play. She was about 12 or 13. One day she stopped coming and when I asked her why, she told me that my father was touching her. I didn’t believe her, so I talked her into staying one night. We were both asleep — she was in one bed and I was in another. I opened my eyes to see my father trying to touch her and her pushing him away. I moved in my bed trying to make him think I was waking up. He looked over at me and left out of the room. Not long after that, he beat me mercilessly for something again. Another mind game set up, so I told my mother what he had done. The blood drained from her face. We left that day. We were at my Aunt’s house and he came there about 1am. Not long after that we were back at home. Nothing would compare to the random, drunken, violent beatings I would receive from then until I was 19.
Memories at 40: We would spend the summers in the country, with my father’s adoptive mother. As a kid I was always sick. I had asthma and he hated it. He hated that I wasn’t strong and virile like him. He hated that I couldn’t be in the sawdust, pollen and the raw lumber like him. He hated that I liked to read and write and draw. He hated that me and my middle sister were darker-skinned than him. He didn’t think he could make a dark baby. He just hated everything about me I guess. Anyway, I had to go to the doctor every Tuesday to get shots to control my allergies. When his mother found out she said, “Ain’t nothing wrong with that damn boy…he just got germs on him. Stop wasting all that money. ” When my mother left to visit some friends I heard what sounded like water running in a tub but it was sporadic. She came and got me out of the living room leaving my Matchbox cars on the floor. She said she was going to kill these germs on me once and for all. She gave me a bath in ammonia.
Grateful at 40: I was asked recently how I made it through all of this, (half has not even been told) and my answer to that is…I know for a fact that there is a GOD. When my father would say or do those things to me, I would hear this voice inside of me say, “That’s not true ” or, “Don’t believe that ” or, “You’re going to make it through this “. I didn’t know at the time what “it ” was, but today I surely have no doubt that “it ” was GOD. That voice always gave me comfort. It allowed me to hold on. It kept me from being strung out on drugs, from dying when I wanted to commit suicide. It kept me from being a gang banger or drug dealer. Worse than all of those things put together, it kept me from being him. It brought angels to comfort me after every foul, harsh word or every welt on my legs or back GOD, only GOD.
To know that the little boy that I was went through all that — he went through and made it. Then me, as a man…I have to take on the responsibility of forgiving all of those people. I owe it to that little boy that I was and, more than that, I owe it to the man that I am Think about it, as a child we have no recourse. We have nowhere to go. We have to endure it. But as adults, we have choices. I choose to forgive with all my might. Forgiveness has been my weapon of choice. It has helped to free me.
If you’re having a hard time getting over something in your life, maybe you can try forgiveness too. It’s not easy, but it does bring forth healing. I know that there are a lot of people out there with stories far worse than mine but you, too, can make it. To those of you who have, welcome to life. I celebrate you. We’re all PRECIOUS in His sight.
Tyler Perry
Any thoughts?
I read this posting by Tyler Perry and I was so touched. I can honestly say that there is a GOD almighty that looks down and take care of us when we can’t take care of ourselves. I’m thankful that GOD allowed him to get away from the abuse in life but most of all to share these awful memories so that others can be saved from this a well. Prayer and belief is what we need in this world today in order to survive. Be Blessed!!!
i read this and i just can’t believe that people would do that to a child.
I’m so glad that God allowed him to get away from people like that and hiving him a chance for forgiveness.I am glad you are still here on this earth.I love you!!!!
Your #1 fan.
i don’t think the world really knows how devastating child molestation is it can be a death sentence to one that does not find the comfort of God i praise God, for the deliverance of tyler perrys mind for the world is a better place
Mr.Perry please seek psychiatric help. i feel this is a PR stunt and
you always seem like you are smelling yourself. I think you are a
phoney playing church and do share this with other ministers
because I don’t see theseriosness of God word and church.
As a praticing M..D. and a Professor of Djvjnity Each time I see Gelilia in N.Y.
or Hamptons I want to tell her to run she such a nice person to talk to I hope she
wake before it tol late that womanizer and you tried to have a conversation with me an I kept it moving. Concerned N.Y Professor
i so glad he came out with it. i’ll pray for you.
I couldnt stop crying when I was reading what you wrote Mr. Perry. I have also been through alot of the same and at 36 still struggle with all the hurt and pain. I know GOD is with all of us now. God bless you and thank you for telling your story. LOVE YOUR WORK, I REALLY DO peace
DAMN, TYLER, THATS REALLY DEEP. I WOULD’VE NEVER KNOWN THAT THIS HAD HAPPENED TO YOU…WELL, NOW, YOU ARE MENTALLY STABLE AND ABLE TO SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS. THATS VERY ADULT OF YOU TO COME FORWARS AND RELEASE THE ANGER BUILT UP. I ADMIRE YOU AND HAVE ADMIRED YOU EVER SINCE YOU CAME INTO THE GAME. THANKS PERRY, YOU HELPED ME IN MORE WAYS THAN U KNOW.
First of all god bless you, and keep up the good work cause like you said you fought back by forgiving these people .That is so brieve on your part cause trust and believe we all have to meet are maker .And god have mercy on there souls! But last and not least i am one of your biggest fans just keep on bringing the world your good plays and movies oh yeah i forgot this is your last play right please tell me diffrent. Well i hope you write back soon peace andlove saundra
Tyler you truly are a remarkable person you have been through so much, but all of that was for a reason ,God used you so that you can help others to get through.When we as ordinary people look at celebrities we think that their lives are perfect and we so much want to be them but we all have our crosses to bear and evidently you carried yours with faith and perseverance.
To you Tyler continue doing what you do ,you inspire so many people through your work continue doing God’s work and you will be enriched.
WOW !!! you never know, what another person’s been through, never judge a book by it’s cover,open it & read a little bit of it to get the inside info,it’s almost always much deeper than you think,( someone’s life that is).Always know that the devil is always busy trying to ruin someone’s life, but GOD,but GOD will take it & turn it all around for our good &His glory. Glory to the Most HIGH !!!! Tyler Perry walked through all this mess to be very blessed !!! Everyone has a story ,it’s how you choose to be better or bitter from it .
Tyler Perry .. people talk about Jesus and he still bless them to breathe and talk again… So I will keep you in my prays. So many people have things of there past they buried so deep witin them. They are in denial it even happen. Keep your head up. I’m sure your story will safe a life. Thank you 🙂
There is a GOD!!!! I’m glad to see that you turn out to be a handsome young man with a whole lot of sense. Keep your head up high and continue moving forward. I will always keep you and your family in my prayers. Just do the same for me. I think God that I never been through anything like this. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t around it. Take care!!!
Hi Tyler. It took a lot of courage to reveal what has long been on your heart – from the memories in your mind. I too have suffered the raging bull torments of a truly evil and often disgruntled father. I think that your film and stage materials over the years has had a positive influence on many of our youth; most of the logic behind the plots reflect true live experienced daily by so many. At 56, I can look back through reddned eyes and a heavy heart over my life as I grew up in grandmother’s home with a father who for the most part mirrored your father. A father who saw his daughters as one of the women he would meet in the street in smoky, dank bars, and would bring them to my grandmother’s house in the middle of the night and make me get out of bed to sleep on the sofa, etc. When there was a dry spell of worldly women, and he was on his drugs, all of which my grandmother, my dad being her only child, would wholeheartedly support. If the people at church only knew this back then….. my, my, my. When the “dry season” came, who do you think my father used to “fill in the gap?” He was still “hungry” – child or no child – I am a girl child, that’s all that mattered. That same grandmother died about a year ago. She died in a nursing home with none of her many, many grandchildren making regular visits to see her. I have got to, just as you did, reach that point in my life where I can let go and let God – and forgive. Well, not only that grandmother is gone, but my father died years ago at age 55. Ain’t it funny how time slips away? Thank you Tyler, you’ve helped me to begin a healing long needed, and long awaited.
In addition, I think the “shrink” Dr. Lambert, needs a shrink. She must have been born with a “silver spoon” in her mouth, because beyond her “book knowledge”, she has nothing in her heart for the human spirit. The spirit of a child is easily broken when done so by the very persons whom God has given them to look to for love, comfort, and protection. A “publicity stunt”!!! The woman needs therapy.
I’ll continue to remember you i my prayers Tyler. Stay on the battlefield.
Hello Mr. Perry – I could not stop crying when I heard your testimony. I am sorry for your experience. God is Good. I never thought that your walk in life would have been so meaningless. But I know that you know, that this has nothing to do with God, but I know that with all the wisdom you have experienced you can guide those among you. Thank you for sharing – more so, thank you for being so open and blessed. May God bless your path in life minute to minute. Stay blessed.
When I started to read what Tyler was writing I immiadetely started to cry because, I’m 11 turning 12 next year, I have a whole lot of things in my life that ARE very to similar. I understand what he feeling or felt. To me… the physical abuse hurts, I mean my mom once gave me a bloody nose but, believe that does not compare wat my mom says to me. Sometimes I love GOD for giving me my life, others I wonder why does he let this happen to 11 year old girl…anyone. Ya know I’m still crying. I know GOD lets things happen so we can move through it. I’m to emotional to keep typing. I will leave you with this GOD bless the world and espically the ones who need it the most…GOD BLESS
Tyler, you are trully an inspiration to the world. People like you an Oprah create so much of hope for so many people who feel helpless an traped. For some one to come out stronger then ever after enduring so much of pain, teachers us that there is trully a Supiror being around us (GOD). In today’s times there many many children who are suffering the same kind of pain you speak of, just reading your story has literally brought me to tears. I have never known the kind of pain you speak of as I lost my mother when I was but a baby, my dad went out of his way to protect me. That is why I thank God everyday for giving such a wonderful father, other children are not so lucky. We live in an era where children are not cherrished as they should be, they abused on so many levels in so many different ways. This for me is very sad becuase there is nothing more precious in this world then the innocent laughter of children, there is somthing very pure about it. I admire the fact that you can come from a past of so much pain and bring laughter to the world the way you do. The movies you create are very relevant to our times. I only wish that the world could more to save our children , let the children make headlines on what they have achieved instead of what they have endured. I live in South Africa where the crime rate is very high, every minute of evey hour of every day a women is being raped or killed. I wish that I could stand up and say to the “what the hell are you doing? is this how we were meant to live?” but the reality is that no-one will listen to a no body like me. That is why it is up to people like youself to try and make a difference. May you continue to do the wonderful work you do, heal the world with laughter and continue to be an inspiration. God bless you and may you live a wonderful live because you deserve nothing less. regards Atiyaa 🙂
I do not know tyler as a person and am not a christian but i think he is a true inspiration in the sense of his rise to fame and his deep transdental insight into human nature, motivation and personality that he expresses in his movie. I am a tough ass critic and skeptic at heart but with tyler he speaks through his movies in a powerful way that you cannot help but feel powerfully moved and awed. Great work and true gift tyler has. As a kenyan living in south africa with slightly different culture, i totally relate to the simplicity, depth and overwhelming insight he has on seeing the human mind and soul. Its amazing even how he’s follow up movies are all fresh new with deeper insight a feat rarely seen.Amen to him for a great job and gift he has shared with humanity. Sorry for the rant raving in the inappropriate site just felt moved and needed deply to express my gratitude.
I’ve never responded to a blog before yet there is something very special about you Mr. Tyler Perry. I saw you recently on Oprah and you said that your greatest achievement was to make your mother comfortable in a home and lifestyle she would have never experienced if not for your hard work and talent. I just saw that she has passed and wanted to send my deepest condolences. I lost my father in April this year and it is still VERY difficult. Thank you for sharing your “not so pleasant” memories with us. Your testimony will touch millions of people and children alike, including this 40 some over grown child. As for it being a PR stunt…well, I think that’s a crock of sh*t!! Who wants to admit that they were sexually abused by men and women alike?? What an idiot that Dr. is. God Bless you and keep up the good work. I can’t get enough of Madea or anything else you get involved in because there is always a great life lesson in the end. Much Love and God Bless!!
When i read this i thought about how much i have complained about in m life and when i read about all the things Tyler Perry’s been through i have nothing to complain about. I just wanna say that i thank god for all he’s done for me and i also want to say that your plays, tv shows, and o ther productions are very life canging. I hope that one day i will be able to have the honor of meeting you.
luv ya tyler
Tyler I can only thank God for your life and the experiences that you went through and the Holy Ghost that kept you sane.
TYLER PERRY I GIVE YOU MUCH RESPECT GOD USED YOU TO HELP OTHERS SUCH AS MY SELF I THANK YOU
I JUST FINISH READING YOUR LIFE STORY I GIVE YOU ALL THE COURAGE AND THE LOVE, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND ALWAYS KEEP GOD IN YOUR HEART AND PRAYS WHEN SATAN TRY TO TEST YOUR FAITH. I TRY TO HAVE AND CONVERSATION WITH GOD EVER MORNING BEFORE I START MY DAY. KEEP UP THE GOOD PLAYS AND MOVIE LOVE YOU
I love your movies diary of a mad black women, why did i get married etc; I can not wait for why did i get married two I am a Caucasian female but I feel you relate to all people. I cry, I laugh and relate. The situations you portrait are people issues not racial issues. We all will have most of the same problems as we are human not black or white. Thank you for the realism of life you portrait, I love Madiia. When I read the book The Shack her voice is the voice I heard as the voice of God portrait as a women per the author which made the book very entertaining as well as important.
thank you for being the voice of people issues
“There but for the grace of God, goes I.”
“…order my steps.”
I love all of your Movies and Plays. I would like to see a movie written by you. The movie should involve young people and the realities of today. I would love to see my son Desmon Williams a junior at Boys Latin Charter School in Philadelphia play in one of your movies. He is seventeen. He is very talented. He will be starring in a Play to be held at his school in May. The play is the Wiz. Come to Philly and see these young people perform. Please come to Philly. Make some time for us.
I was sorry to hear about your mother. I know she is in heaven watching over you!
I love You!
Proud mom.
There are no accidents. I have been blessed by you, Tyler Perry in many ways. I have always wanted to thank you, but never knew how. Today is the first time that I have attempted to find your blog, and it is so timely. I was so touched to read about your childhood and :forgiveness”. I, too, was sexually molested as a child. I kept the secret for more than 20 years. With my secret in tact, I attended my Uncle’s funeral and I vividly remember the combination of sadness, hate, and relief that he was gone. I understand why you didn’t pay for your molester’s funeral, but I also understand the power of forgiveness. Thank you for sharing your painful experiences.
Thank you, Tyler Perry, for touching my life in so many ways. I went through a very ugly divorce in 2006. My ex was very selfish, but very wealthy and we had built a Buckhead type mansion on a 2.00 acre farm in a small town south of Atlanta. (We were both lived in Atlanta over 20 years.) I To make my point, I’ll share a few of the details, bu I want to share the coincidence first. My husband had left our home & moved in with his girlfriend, but he had badgered, tricked & forced me out of our home. (He is a large man and very verbally abusive.) That night I moved into a hotel, your movie, “Diary of a Mad Housewife”, was on TV. It reminded me so much of my abusive situation, that I was able to cry and laugh through my tears. It was very healing, for that night. “Diary” has become my favorite movie and I watch it often, as I continue my healing.
My story is so painful and unique, I just have to share a few details that are similar to the “DIary” story. I MS in 1994. In 1995 his 19 year old daughter was in a horrible car accident that left her severely disabled & brain injured. After a monthin ICU and 4 months at ShepherdCenter, in Atlanta, she was diagnosed to be in a “Vegetative State” and Shepherd recommended moving her to a Nursing Home. My ex thought that he could fix the situation, so he “told” me that she would be moving to our house. I have been a Pediatric Nurse since 1976, and I was somewhat aware of the stress caused by having a sick/injured child in the family/home. To further complicate the stress, there was a lot of “unfinished business” between my ex and his exwife. (I met him 6 monthes after their divorce , we dated 3 years, and had been married for 10 monthes before the accident. I loved this child and I took care of her for 17 months at home. She had numerous complicated medical issues and it was like running an ICU at home. (I did have some CNAs come in to help with her personal care but I had to deal with the complex medical issues.) To further increase the stress, MS’ exwife came over everyday, but she did not participate in her daughter’s care. The ex & her mother would tell the CNAs that I was a “bitch”, “slut & “whore who married MS for his money”. MS was in denial, angry , drinking heavily. & his verbal abuse escalated.Coming from a history of sexual abuse and a family with numerous alcoholics, my tolerance of dysfunction was much higher than it should have been. When I could not deal with this situation anymore, I found a home for SS, but I continued to advocate for her. I believed that SS was a “locked in syndrome”. that her brain was aware but her body was so disabled that it could not respond. She wore diapers, had no cough, gag or swallow reflex . She could only move her right hand and her head. After years of fighting for her, she now is able to eat, feed herself, and communicates on a communication device. She spells as well as I do, but she is opinionated and very much her own personality. Crazy as it seems, I continue to advocate for her even after the divorce. Her parents seldom see her and aren’t familiar with her care. She and I have a special bond & love.
I had also taken care of my ex through a broken hip and a heart attack. I started experiencing health problems and after many docs, tests, etc., I was found to have a potentially disabling neropathy, and Hepatitis C. (I had bleeding ulcers in 1981, and had to have half of my stomach removed. It was an emergency situation and the surgery saved my life, but I received 22 units of blood, which is where I contracted Hep C. I also arested twice and had an “out of the body experience”. I went to Mayo Clinic where I found out that the Hep C caused the neuropathy, and that if I treated the Hep C, then the neuropathy sould go away. (I knew that my husband never accepted his own daughter’s disability, and was terrified that he would leave me if I was disabled.) So I started Hep C treatment (which is horrible, it made me very, very ill). Three weeks later, My ex started an affair, with a much younger woman, who is known for having affairs and breaking up marriages with no remorse. This started in Jan., but I was so sick, I accepted the many excuses that my ex gave me when he left the house and went on “business trips”. It was not until June/July that I became suspicious and counted his viagra before or after one of his trips. He denied the affair when I asked. (My treatment was supposed to last for a year & I was very ill!) One Friday, he came home, told me about the affair, and that he wanted to date HA.She wanted him to divorce me but he wanted a “separation”, and he wanted to support me, put me in an apartment for a couple of years, until I”got my act together”!. On Sat. he left but didn’t come home that night. The next morning I went out to ride a horse that I had raised since birth. (The horse had recently been trained and I had ridden her several times.) I don’t remember anytrhing after I saddled her, to make a longere story shorter, I was found by some kids and was life-flighted to Grady. As you can imagine, this was a very big event in a small town. Everyone was trying to reach my ex but he was not answering his phone .I had a brain injury, broken ribs and a hip that was broken in 2 places and crushed in between. 12 hours after the accident, my ex walked into Grady, looking very dishevled. I was on a stretcher, in the hall, waiting for a CT scan. I had no memory in all of those hours, but I had a few minutes when I was lucid. When I saw him, I asked, “Are you still struggling, Honey?” His resonse was, “No, I want a divorce! And by the way, I won’t be there when you get home so you’d better find someone to come and stay with you!!” Then he turned and left. I later found out that his girlfriend was waiting for him, in the car!! I could not believe that anyone could be so cruel, especially after everything that I had done for him & his daughter!!!!! This is one situation that reminds me of “Diary”, and when he forced me out of the house, while his girlfriend was waiting in her car across the road from the house. When I share this story, it almost sounds like it could not possibly be true! But the night I moved into the hotel, and watched “Diary”, for the first time, relating to the cruelness & pain, my emotions were softened by the laughter. Thank you, Tyler Perry, for your insight and humor. You have touched my life forever.
Tyler, the Lord has given you a gift to reach others through your movies and plays. Please continue to let Him guide you and use your gifts for His glory!
Thank You Tyler
wow it makes me think aboout all of this kids that goes throgh all of this and nobody says a thing but you were lucky to get away.
Mr. Perry. I applaud you for this. It is my first time reading this. I have been a healer for over 16 years now. In Oakland doing massage etc. I do something callled Azaleas emotional releasing (TM) based on my personal studies that we hold memories in our cells and just like a computer they can be released as they were put there. There is alot that God has given us through natural foot massage, acupressure, herbs of the land and more. I applaud you and would love to work on you one day. My business Greensoul massage is located at 420 15th St. in downtown Oakland we fly all around the world. Much blessings to you.